Update of Relativity Theories
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
Einstein got it partially right when
his lightbulb flashed E equals m
times c squared, accounting for
the extra energy created when neutrons
begin to multiply like radioactive rabbits
during an angry nuclear excursion.
But, sacre bleu, m stands not for mass
but for money, c for collusion, not
collision, to Albert’s embarrassment.
George Gamow also badly missed
the target when he envisioned his lewd
Big Bang Theory, aka the Beginning
of the Universe and related destinations.
What he didn’t understand was that
it was Mom and Dad who mothered and
fathered Big Bang, creating G.G. himself.
Leonardo da Vinci was so befuddled by
scientific nightmares that he painted
his most lasting enigma, the curious
smile on the placid face of Mona Lisa,
a peripatetic prostitute and soothsayer.
Mona of smiling face soothsaw that she
and Leo would get serious, freezing for-
ever that smile so beloved by multitudes
of adoring Japanese tourists to the Louvre.
My own theory, in all humbleness, is that
Albert and George and Leonardo would
have made strange bedfellows in today’s
world, their gifts to science ignored by
modern Super-Thinkers – Leonardo di
Caprio, George W. Bush and Albert
Capone, all fiduciaries of the Big Bang.
(Published on 6/21/10 online by Marquis Cafeteria Round Table)
Note: Just a piece of fluff, the “science” of the piece garbled on purpose. Long ago, I did attend a lecture by Mr. Big Bang himself, George Gamow, at George Washington University. It was curious to see how a genius operates: though brilliant, Mr. G. smoked while onstage (a no-no), didn’t know how to tie his shoes and had to have assistance to blow up a balloon. I ran into many folks like him – and thank goodness for them! – while a consultant at the infamous Los Alamos Laboratories in New Mexico.
