Bill Roberts, Poet

Wild West

Friday, December 11th, 2009

It takes practice

to ride a cactus.

City slickers

feel the stickers.

Real cowgirls and cowboys

don’t make the OW! noise.

They ride ‘em hard,

never get scarred.

You too can ride….

if you have a tough hide!

(Published originally in the wonderful children’s magazine, Cricket, quite a few years ago when I used Bartlett Boswell as my pseudonym)
Note:  I often use this poem to warm up an audience when I recite.  To get them in the mood, I suggest they imagine themselves as six-year-olds again, wearing a cowboy/cowgirl outfit, sixshooter tucked in a sagging holster, staring up at one of those gigantic saguaro types of cactus with its many prickly arms, and the cactus stares down at them, repeating this poem of warning.  Would I enjoy being a kid again, say, just for a few minutes?  Wouldn’t we all?

Posted in Children, Country-western, Humor, Nostalgia, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Interlude With Mary

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

That evening had been arranged pretty carefully

by our basement boarders, Jim and Pheenie,

and they assured me it wouldn’t hurt a bit.

We rehearsed where we’d go, what would

and wouldn’t be said, how Jim would

pick up the tab for any food, beverages,

the tickets, and how, if I had a mind to,

I’d hold Mary’s hand in the backseat

of their car and possibly kiss her goodnight,

if I was so inclined and didn’t mind too much.

It went pretty well according to plan,

except I was shaken by how simply lovely

Jim’s niece turned out to be, and we all knew

she’d be thrilled just to watch stockcars

go round and round a dusty dirt oval.

I could tell she’d have a cheeseburger too,

if I ordered one for myself.

She only ate half of hers, explaining

partially why she was so slender.

I held her cool hand in the car and kissed her

on the front porch of the house where she lived.

Mary said goodnight, smiled and

met me with urgency when I kissed her

a second time, then hurried in the house.

Jim thanked me, which wasn’t necessary.

Pheenie couldn’t find words, which was okay.

I told them I’d enjoyed meeting Mary.

We’d rehearsed everything except

how we’d feel when Mary died a few weeks later.

(Published in the April 2001 issue of Offerings Magazine)

Note:  Leukemia. Maybe the second time I’d heard that ominous word.  I was sixteen when this interlude occurred, getting more serious about school and education – I went to a great high school, Theodore Roosevelt in D.C. – and was turning to new friends, new experiences, new challenges.  Jim and Pheenie had been like surrogate parents, albeit country types and heavy drinkers but salt (or maybe pepper) of the earth.  They’d take me, brother Jim, and sisters GeeGee and Bee with them to the dusty dirt oval Friday nights, then for burgers at a nearby honky-tonk where, I swear, I heard some of the great ones, like Hank Williams, coming up or on the way out.  Though I was in the process of finding classical music and jazz when Jim asked me this favor, there was no way I could possibly say no after all he and Pheenie had given me – us! – over some difficult years.

Posted in Country-western, Health, Human Nature, Love, Nostalgia | No Comments »

Applying the Scientific Method

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

Describe Experiment

I went to a country-western joint to meet girls and dance.

Most of the girls were women, with men.

They danced with me anyway.

Until the joint closed.

Parameters of Experimentation

I figured, go for broke – hold nothing back.

Each dance turned out to be a two-step.

Once I tried jitterbugging, to no avail.

Two-stepping is better in cowboy boots, not sneakers.

List Results

A scientist seemed welcome in this environment.

I danced with a new gal each number.

The guys looked relieved, consumed lots of beer.

2:00 A.M. closing came mighty early.

Conclusions

Country-western joints are accessible for socialization.

Though strenuous, dancing is aerobic exercise.

I would certainly consider repeating the experiment.

After recovery from the skull fracture.

(Published online in the April 2009 issue of Thick With Conviction and nominated for online poem of the year)

Note:  This was just a fun exercise to somehow apply my scientific background into an arena with which I’m only vaguely familiar, country-western music and dancing.  I grew up with country music in the Delmarva area surrounding D.C., heard many country stars on the way up, and am getting back to these “roots” again late in life.  Country-western makes me want to dance but, alas, I don’t own cowboy boots.  Still, I’m an aficionado of dance, all kinds, from two-stepping, ballet, modern (a la Pilobolus and so many others), ballroom, backroom, even dancing with the stars (as long as they’re overhead, not those out-of-work faded stars on TV).

Posted in Country-western, Dance, Humor, Science | No Comments »