Bill Roberts, Poet

Mystery Solved

Author: Bill Roberts

Her whereabouts no longer a mystery:

the Perfect Woman.

I’ve followed leads, seemingly solid clues,

suspicions, red herrings

all my life, but to no avail.

I’d nearly given up hope.

Check that – I had given up hope.

Until one day the answer came.

Not as you might expect -

in the mail, on television’s 60 Minutes,

a holy man whispering in my good ear,

a televangelist placing twitchy hands

on my discombobulated head.

Oh no, not the usual avenues

of sudden intelligence (certainly

not from a how-to course for seniors or,

horrors, a poetry workshop).

It just occurred to me one morning:

there is no perfect woman!

Eureka! The answer so simple,

so elusive so many years.

I deduced this from a lifelong study

of my fellow man -

not a single one perfect.

But by any measure,

woman comes the closest.

(Published in the November 2009 online issue of Flutter Poetry Journal)

Note:  Of course, this is hyperbole….or is it?  Personally, I’d much rather look at a woman than a man.  Maybe that’s why I’m losing interest in football (unless the game is played by teams of coeds).  A dirty old man by nature doesn’t have to be dirty, just old.  This is a poem meant to take a funny turn at the end, one of my signatures, I suppose.

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