Postcards From the Next Life
Author: Bill Roberts
Dear Son – Bet you won’t like it here.
We can’t have tobacco products, so I’m
forced to chew on the rope I was led in
by. Also, they confiscated my choppers.
When you come, sneak in a sealed pouch
of those rum-soaked cigars. Love, Mom
Son – Brace yourself for what’s coming.
There’s a vast library here, but it contains
only children’s books, nothing but fiction.
Remember when I read you Mother Goose?
That’s all you’ll have pretty soon, so OD
on pornography while you’re able. Dad
Brother Bill – I wonder if I can ask another
favor before you join us….would you mind
bringing me a pair of those Crocs, size 13?
We go barefoot – and often bareassed, too -
and my poor dogs ache all the time. We
never seem to stop marching. Bro Maxie
Billy Boy – Remember me, your girlfriend
from high school (the one with the big
yum-yums)!? Ha! Can’t wait to see you
again, little man. It’s boring as h-e-l-l up
here, so hurry to my rescue. Don’t worry
about protection – sex is a no-no. XXX, Viv
(Published in Vol. 5, No. 2 of Main Channel Voices, Spring 2009 – the magazine now defunct)
Note: Totally written for fun, but I do admit a love of postcards, real or imagined.
